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AKER'S EDITION 
> OF PLAYS r" 



A Dangerous Experiment 



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WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

BOSTON 



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x 



A Dangerous Experiment 

A Farce in Two Scenes 



By 

FRANCES SALTONSTALL 

Author of "The Butlers" and others plays 



NOTICE TO PROFESSIONALS 

This play is published for amateurs. Professional companies 
are forbidden the use of it in any form or under any title, with- 
out the consent of the author, who may be addressed in care of 
the publishers. 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

1922 



P5 3537 
A Dangerous Experiment 



CHARACTERS 



Murray Winthrop, a senior at Harvard. 

Charles Hollister, Winthrop' s room-mate. 

George Fowler, another classmate. 

James Thornton, a junior at Harvard, " The Prig. % 

Granger Mills, another junior, " Daisy Dufiont.' 

Howard Wells, a freshman. 

Mrs. Winthrop, Murray s mother. 

Caroline Winthrop, Murray s sister. 

Nancy Martin Webster, a Radcliffe student. 

Time. — Present. Place. — Cambridge. 

Scene I. — Murray Winthrop' s room at Claverly Hall, 

10:00 p. m. 
Scene II. — The same as in Scene I ; four days later, 

4 : 30 p. m. 




Copyright, 1922, by Frances Saltonstall 



All rights reserved 

APR 26 1922 

©Cl.0 (SPH32 

4A? --■ ,. 



* 



A Dangerous Experiment 



SCENE I 
SCENE. — Murray Winthrop's study in Claverly Hall. 

(As the curtain rises, several men are seated about, 
having a good time. There are evidences of it every- 
where. Cigars and cigarettes, siphon of soda, one or 
two empty beer glasses, etc., are strewn about on the 
table. It is late in the evening, ten-thirty or so, and 
the men are in dispute over something, as is evident 
by the expression on their faces.) 

Murray. So you chaps think I won't dare put such 
an advertisement in the " Saturday Evening Transcript." 

Granger. I'll bet you fifty dollars you don't. 

George. Better not dare him, Granger ; Murray never 
stopped at anything ; besides, it's a fool thing to do any- 
way. 

Howard. Nonsense, George, you are as timid as 
Murray is 

Murray. Foolhardy ! 

(Laughing heartily. He is sitting at a writing desk, 
busily writing.) 

George. Call it anything you like, I warn you it's a 
stupid risk to take. 

(Murray finishes what he is writing and walks over 
to the table where the other men are.) 

Murray. How does this sound, boys ? " Wanted, a 
wife. She must be under twenty-one and over eighteen, 
amiable, attractive, good-looking, with plenty of common 

3 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 



sense and a keen sense of humor. Write, or call at Clav- 
erly Hall, Room 16, between four-thirty and six o'clock 
on Tuesday, January twenty-seventh/' 

(Pauses to hear zvhat the others have to say.) 

Granger. That's bully, just the thing! To the point, 
no extra words, couldn't be better. 

(Takes it from Murray and reads it to himself again.) 

James (drawing his long, lean body from the low chair 
in which he has been reclining). You ought to stipulate 
for a fortune, too. (Yawns.) 

George. Girls with money don't have to answer 
" ads." to get husbands. 

Howard. Some I know wouldn't get one even then. 

George. Isn't Claverly Hall rather a public place for 
a girl to come to all alone? No decent young woman 
would do such a thing. 

(All laugh at his limited sense of humor.) 

Murray. That's why my bet is so safe. You're an 
awful kill- joy, Fowler. Can't you let a fellow have some 
fun? I tell you the thing is impossible; I'm bound to 
win my bet. I hate to think of Granger's losing that 
fifty dollars; it's like taking food from a hungry child. 

(Laughs to himself.) 

Granger (good-naturedly). Don't worry about my 
losing the fifty dollars. I'm quite willing to stick to my 
side of the bargain. 

Howard (lighting another cigarette). What's money 
to Granger, anyway? 

George. It's lucky Murray can afford to lose, too. 

James. Don't be so serious; it's only a lark, whoever 
wins. (Goes over and stands in front of the fireplace.) 

Murray. Of course it is. Why, good Lord, I'd give 
fifty dollars to win a good lau^h at old Granger's expense. 

Granger. You may find I'll have the money and the 
laugh too. (Walking up and down the room.) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 5 

Murray. Whichever way it turns out, the bargain is 
sealed. {Holds out his hand to Granger, who takes it.) 
Now I must run out and mail this note at the corner post 
box. (Starts and then stops.) Mind you fellows are 
out of here before I come back. I've got to study; the 
mid-years are coming and if I don't work hard, I'll flunk 
every one of them. 

(Takes his hat and disappears out of the door, whistling 
as he goes.) 

George. I believe Murray would dare do anything. 

(Looking in the direction of the door.) 

Howard. He certainly takes chances that even I 
should pause to consider before taking. 

(Tilts back in his chair with careless grace.) 

Granger. If he stopped to consider, he wouldn't be 
the wonder he is, I never saw such a man. No matter 
what he does, it turns out well. 

George. All the same, it's a dangerous experiment, 
and I don't like the idea of it. (Rises to leave the room.) 

James. You'll never get anywhere, Fowler, unless you 
have more courage. 

Howard. Hold on a moment, George, I'm coming too. 
I wouldn't dare to be here when Murray gets back ; he'd 
kick us all out. 

(They both leave the room, George calling back as he 
closes the door.) 

George. Remember, I said it was a risk he was taking. 

Granger (hurling a pillow after him). Get out, you 
wet blanket ! (Granger pulls a chair up to the fire, mo- 
tioning for James to take another.) I hope I haven't 
got Murray into a lot of trouble making that wager. I 
never really believed he'd call my bluff. 

James (chuckling to himself). I suppose there is some 
risk in what he has done, but Murray's luck will carry 
him through, and I dare say he is right. No girls would 



6 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

dare to come here to Claverly to apply for the job. But, 
by Jove, it would be funny if they should ! 

(Laughs heartily.) 

Granger. See here, James, if I'm going to lose that 
fifty dollars, I'm going to get my money's worth and teach 
Murray a good lesson at the same time. He's entirely 
too apt to trust to luck and it's bound to get him into 
trouble some day, and now that George has left us I don't 
mind saying so ; — I tell you, I have an idea ! 

James (looking toward the door). What is it? 

Granger (leaning over closer to James). You and I 
might masquerade as girls, we are both thin, and come 
here to this room on Tuesday to apply for the position of 
wife to his royal Highness. We can give him a scare 
even if he recognizes us in the end, and it would be fun 
to see how he takes the joke. 

James (thoughtfully). It's not a bad idea at all. 
What kind of a girl would you be? 

Granger (his eyes snapping at the thought). A first 
class hummer, one to give him a set-back to meet in his 
study, — the kind of girl who might take the ad. seriously. 

Tames. And I suppose I must impersonate some one 
who v/ill be a contrast to you. 

Granger. Wouldn't any one know you'd draw the 
serious part ! 

James. It's always serious business taking a girl's 
part, you know. 

Granger. And it would be still more so to wake up 
and find oneself a girl. Wouldn't it be terrible? 

(Shudders to think of it.) 

James. It certainly would be the worst nightmare — 
but when is it we are to appear before Murray ? 

Granger. Tuesday. (A noise is heard.) Hush! 
Here he comes ; not a word. Do you really suppose he's 
mailed that letter? 

James. Of course he has. 

(Door bursts open and Murray whirls into the room, 
greatly pleased with what he has done. ) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 7 

Murray. Well, that's done. The die is cast; behold 
me an expectant bridegroom ! 

James. And now all we have to do is to wait for the 
fireworks. 

Granger. More likely the fire department to throw 
cold water on the beautiful applicants. {Laughs loudly.) 

Murray (a bit nettled). I tell you there won't be any. 

(Granger takes out a small check-book and goes over 
to the table and makes out a check, handing it to 
Murray. ) 

Granger. I'll admit, now it's all over, I never dreamed 
you'd take my bluff. Here's my share of the bargain. 

Murray. You don't suppose I'd lose a chance to make 
an honest dollar, do you? But I refuse to take your 
money until you actually see my advertisement in the 
paper. If it never appears you can keep your fifty 
dollars. 

Granger. And if it does you can have it. (Starts to 
leave.) Come along, Thornton, it's time Murray settled 
down to work. It's well for him to get used to doing a 
little, if he is so soon to be married. 

(Laughs, and Murray tries to join in.) 

James. I'm more afraid he'll sit and dream of his 
future bride. (The two men move toward the door.) 
Say good-night to Charles for me. Too bad he was din- 
ing in town to-night; he missed lots of fun. That's the 
penalty of mixing with the fair sex ; better enjoy your 
liberty while you have it, Murray, old chap. 

Murray. How do you expect me to settle down to 
higher mathematics after an evening like this ? 

Granger (as he opens the door to go out). Better 
study how to be happy though married, instead ! 

(They disappear out of the door as Granger says the 
last word, and Murray leans over his book trying to 
study. ) 

CURTAIN 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 



SCENE II 



SCENE. — Same room as last scene, four days later at 
four o'clock p. m. 

(As curtain rises Murray Winthrop is seated at his 
desk trying not to appear nervous to his companion 
and room-mate, who keeps coming in and out from 
the room beyond. Murray really believes no one is 
likely to answer his advertisement, but still, on the 
chance that they may, he is tidying up the room as 
much as is consistent with men's ways, omitting sev- 
eral of the most important evidences of college life 
in a senior's room. The room-mate, Charles Hol- 
lister, is busy too in a different zuay, much troubled 
by Murray's sudden burst of neatness. Not having 
been on hand when the wager zuas made, he knows 
nothing of Murray's anxiety, and cannot quite un- 
derstand the tatter's sudden interest in how the room 
looks.) 

Charles. What in the world are you up to, Murray ? 

Murray. I can't bear to see this room so untidy. 

Charles (much surprised). Well, when did you be- 
gin noticing it was messy? Little pains you have ever 
taken to make it anything else. (Looking curiously at 
him. ) You aren't expecting company, are you ? 

Murray (much afraid of being discovered). Not 
really — but somehow the room looks worse than usual. 
What if your mother — or mine — should take it into their 
heads to come out to Cambridge, think how annoyed 
they'd be to find such a looking place as this. 

(Goes on tidying up, throwing most of the debris un- 
der the divan.) 

Charles (more and more amazed). You must be 
losing your mind, old chap ; you are working too hard — 
come over and have a game of squash with me — it will 
do you good, — clear your brain of all this tidy nonsense. 

Murray (settling down to his books and beginning to 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 9 

study. Charles comes over and feels of his head) . No, 
thanks, Hollister, I can't spare the time, — but don't let 
me keep you. 

Charles. You couldn't. I can't live without exer- 
cise. No sane man can — you never used to be able to; 
you must be sick. Better consult a doctor. 

Murray. For heaven's sake, go and get your exercise 
and don't worry about me. I've got to work. 

(Bends over his book again.) 

Charles (looking sadly at Murray). Well, I'll go 
find some one to play with me, then I'm going in town for 
dinner. 

Murray (with great impatience). More fussing, I 

suppose (Looking up at Charles.) See here, 

Charles, are you in love? 

Charles. Of course I am, with every nice girl I 
meet, — nothing like it to keep a man out of mischief, you 
know. (Going toward the door and stopping as he gets 
to it.) When a fellow tells me he has no use for the fair 
sex, I always wonder what he's up to. Here's to every 
lovely woman! 

(Kisses his hand and blows the kisses to the imaginary 
fair one, and disappears out of the door. Murray 
is about to begin work again when the door opens 
with a bang, and George Fowler comes rushing in. 
Murray jumps nervously.) 

Fowler. Sorry to give you such a start, but I wanted 
some cigarettes and there isn't one to be found anywhere 
in our rooms. (Going over toward the table.) May I 
borrow some of yours, Murray? 

Murray (tipping his chair back and leaning over to 
the table and taking up a large cigarette box, hands it to 
Fowler). Help yourself, — take the whole box if you 
like. 

Fowler. Thanks awfully, but I only need a few. 

Murray. Don't mention it, old fellow ; come in when- 
ever you want any more. (Fowler starts to sit down, 



IO A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

much to Murray's distress.) Don't let me keep you if 
you're in a hurry. 

Fowler. Oh, I'm in no hurry, — what's the matter 
anyway? I never saw any one so nervous. 

Murray. I'm not nervous — but can't you see I'm 
working ? 

Fowler. Come, Murray, why do you study this after- 
noon ? What are you doing it for anyway ? Going to be 
a Professor when you graduate next June? 

Murray. Not a chance of it 

(Going back to his book again.) 

Fowler (zvhistling). Whew! My Lord, but you're 
stuffy ! What's the matter ? You aren't sick, are you ? 

Murray (thoroughly discouraged as he looks at the 
clock, which has just struck half -past four). Not ex- 
actly, only a bit nervous — over-trained, I suppose. 

Fowler (suddenly remembering the day). I might 
have guessed as much ! It's Tuesday, the day of your 
at home. Excuse me. (Starts to leave.) 

Murray. What a fool you are ! 

Fowler. Perhaps I am, but not a patch on you, old 
man. Gosh ! I wouldn't be in your shoes for twice what 
you're winning from Granger. (Laughs heartily.) 

Murray. I'm quite willing to be in my own shoes. 
You miss lots of fun in this world, never taking any 
chances. 

Fowler. I dare say, but I also am spared some regrets. 

Murray. Nothing venture, nothing have, you know. 
Want to bet me no one turns up this afternoon? 

Fowler. No, thanks, I'm not in the habit of betting 
on certainties ; it's poor sport, you know. 

(Trying not to laugh.) 

Murray. Then I'm a poor sport, for my bet with 
Granger is a foregone conclusion. There'll be a crowd 
here this afternoon. 

Fowler. You might save some of the best of the 
bunch for the rest of us, — after you've taken your pick, 
of course. (Opens the door.) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT II 

Murray. Don't be an ass, Fowler. 
Fowler (as he closes the door). I'll go find some 
other donkey to play with. (Bangs the door.) 

(The janitor's telephone rings. Murray runs nerv- 
ously to answer it, taking down the receiver from a 
hook on the wall.) 

Murray (much agitated). Hello, Atkins, what's that 
you say? A woman wants to see me? Who is it — you 
don't know — is she good-looking — what's that, — you don't 
like her style? Well, it's none of your business whether 
you do or not. She says she has an appointment with 
me — show her up — you don't think I'll want to see her, — 
that's for me to decide— I tell you, show her up. Tell 
her to come up to Room 16. 

(Murray hangs up the receiver, goes to a mirror over 
the fireplace and arranges his tie, then goes back to 
the door and zvaits for a knock; then opens the door 
for a very dashing young woman. Granger is made 
up as a blonde. Her dress is very conspicuous in the 
latest fashion. She walks into the room as if quite 
at home there, smiling sweetly at Murray as she 
zvaits for him to ask her to sit down. Murray is 
much set up and ill at ease, looking down the hall 
outside the door to see if his visitor has been seen 
by any one passing.) 

Daisy Dupont. Is this Room 16? 

Murray. It — is — won't you sit down? (Showing her 
to a chair.) Miss ? 

Daisy. Dupont. (Taking the chair.) Thanks. (Tak- 
ing an easy position as if settling herself for quite a stay. 
She undoes her furs, etc.) I'm so glad to find you at 
home. 

Murray (much disturbed). Yes — yes — what can I 
do for you, — Miss Dupont ? 

Daisy (showing much surprise). Forme? What do 
you suppose? (Leans forward intimately.) 

Murray. I can't— imagine. (With some hesitation.) 



12 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

Daisy. You can't imagine ! Well, I never heard any- 
thing so extraordinary. Didn't you put an advertisement 
in the paper last Saturday, asking for a wife ? 

Murray (with feigned indifference). Why — yes, — 
so I did. 

Daisy. Well, I've come to apply for the position. 

(Looks pleased and begins to unbutton her gloves as 
if she were going to stay then and there; — then 
stops.) 

Murray (growing more and more embarrassed) . You 
wish to marry me? 

Daisy. I don't know whether I wish to exactly, but 
I must marry some one some time, and you might do as 
well as 

Murray (gaining courage). As any one else. Oh, I 
see, but the deuce take it 

Daisy (pretending to be shocked). Please don't swear, 
it hurts my sensitive ear. I can't bear violence of any 
kind; I'm a pacifist. (Tries to appear demure.) 

Murray. Excuse me for saying so, but you don't 
look as if you would believe in non-resistance. 

Daisy (trying to be coy). You can't always tell by 
appearances; things are seldom what they seem, — now, 
for instance, I'm not at all the kind of person you take 
me to be. 

Murray (much surprised). Really? — What are you? 

Daisy. That's for you to find out. 

(Making eyes at him.) 

Murray (drawing up a chair and sitting on the arm 
of it, and watching first Daisy and then the door) . You'll 
have to admit there was some justice in my remark, and 
that your appearance is against you. 

Daisy. Just as yours is against you. 

Murray (falling onto the chair). My appearance is 
against me! How so? 

Daisy. You don't look like a man who would have to 
advertise to get a woman to marry him. 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 1 3 

Murray (much annoyed). But I didn't have to. It 
was only a joke. 

Daisy. Isn't that just like a man to get his pleasure at 
the expense of some woman? They never think of the 
consequences of their fun — but what about me? You 
don't suppose I've run the chance of being criticized for 
coming here, do you, without expecting something in re- 
turn ? I intend to marry you. I do. 

Murray (shrinking with fright into his chair). Well, 
I never expected 

Daisy. Neither did I before, but you needn't look at 

me like that, I won't bite you (Leaning forward 

closer to him.) Come, ask me some questions; I'm not 
afraid to tell you all about myself. My life's an open 
book for you to read. 

Murray. But you surely don't expect me to take you 
seriously, do you, Miss Dupont? 

Daisy. Of course I do, — marriage is a very serious 
matter. 

Murray. But you can't think I really intend to 
marry — just any woman who happens to turn up? 

Daisy. Don't I fill all the requirements you mentioned 
in the advertisement ? I'm not over twenty-one, — that is, 
not much (Looking bashful.), and not under eighteen by 
a long shot. I'm not so bad to look at, at least so others 
have said, and I've got a bully sense of humor or I 
wouldn't be here now, you can bet your sweet life on 
that ; and as for common sense, everything else about me 
is common, so I suppose my sense is common too. 

(She throzvs her head back, laughing heartily at her 
own joke. Murray is amused in spite of his dis- 
comfort. ) 

Murray (getting up and standing before her). Isn't 
this — all very sudden ? (Looking tozvard the door again.) 

Daisy. Of course it is. What else could it be? You 
didn't expect we'd be old friends, did you? 

Murray. Not exactly, but I hoped 

Daisy. Some one a little more suited to your taste 
would appear. Hard luck, old chap ; you see you took a 



14 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

big chance when you advertised for a wife. You didn't 
suppose celebrated beauties, heiresses, and society belles 
were going to turn up, did you ? You might have drawn 
some one worse than I am. (Coming closer to him.) 
Say, do you know, I believe you and I would hit it off 

finely (Takes a good look at him.) I like to take 

chances too; I'm not afraid, and I'm willing to marry 
you — provided, of course, I like your family. I'm from 
Boston (Proudly.) and I think everything of family. 
I must marry into the right one, you know. 

(Leans back again in her chair with perfect assurance.) 

Murray. I'll be 

Daisy. Ashamed to have your family meet me? 

Murray. I hope I'm not so rude as to say that. 

Daisy. No, but you thought it. I don't mind, I rather 
like a man who is particular about whom he marries. I 
had a presentiment when I read your advertisement, that 
you might not care so much. I saw the moment I came 
into the room that you were a gentleman. 

Murray. Thanks. 

Daisy. Oh, don't mention it. And now that we are 
both satisfied, I think we might consider the matter 
settled. 

(Telephone rings again; Murray jumps nervously to 
answer it.) 

Murray. You say there is another woman down- 
stairs to see me, — not like the other, — younger? 

Daisy. Don't mind me. 

Murray (too excited to know what he zvas saying). 
No, I won't. (To Atkins.) What's that you're say- 
ing? She's a lady? Well, ask her to come right up. 

(Turns from the telephone white as a sheet.) 

Daisy (rising). I can step into this room while you 
see the other lady. I'm in no hurry. Time is about all 
I have to spend these days. 

Murray. Mighty kind of you to take it like this. 
(Opens a door and hustles her into his room-mate's 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 1 5 

study.) I won't be long. (Just as he closes the door, 
mopping his brow with his handkerchief, a rap is heard, 
and Murray hastens to open the door, again looking to 
see if he has been seen. He sees a most lovely girl walk 
into his room, and is even more surprised than when 
Daisy appeared. Ushering her in.) What can I do for 
you, Miss ? 

Nancy. Martin, that's my name. Are you the gen- 
tleman who advertised for a wife ? 

Murray (almost falling over with surprise). I am, 
but 

Nancy (comes into the room, but does not offer to 
sit down, as Daisy did; is very modest and attractive). 
Do you think I would — suit you? 

(Dropping her eyes as he gases at her.) 

Murray. By Jove, I haven't a doubt of it! Won't 
you sit down? 

Nancy (taking the offered seat). I mean, do you 
think we could come to some agreement? I wish to 
marry too. (Smiling sweetly.) 

Murray (his embarrassment quite gone, as he becomes 
interested in the beautiful girl before him). I'm sure we 
could. (Takes a chair and draws it close to hers.) 

Nancy (with great dignity). We might start by be- 
ing friends. 

Murray (seriously). And friendship might lead to 
something deeper. 

Nancy (frightened by his manner). Not necessarily, 
by any means. 

Murray. I am afraid you are sceptical of marriage. 

(Looking at her with admiration.) 

Nancy. That's why I never wanted to be married 
before. 

Murray (ardently). I might have known you had 
some good reason for being single. 

Nancy. Thanks, I have. (Blushing.) 

Murray. Then why are you willing to undertake it 
now — in this careless manner ? 



1 6 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

Nancy. I rather like honesty myself, and if I mar- 
ried you, I should know you weren't trying to make me 
believe you cared for me. 

Murray. But I would 

Nancy. Make me believe that. 

Murray. Of course, — for I would lo 



Nancy (stiffening). I think we won't be personal; 
this is merely a matter of business. I wish to settle 
down, and to do that, I must marry. 

Murray. May I ask how such a charming girl as you 
happened to answer an advertisement in the paper? 

Nancy. If I, in turn, may ask you how such an 
agreeable man as you would be willing to advertise for a 
wife. Surely you could get a wife in a much easier way 
than that. 

Murray. I'll tell you why I did it. (Coming over 
and drawing a chair up close to Nancy.) I enjoy games 
of chance ; fate often settles a matter for a person when 
he hasn't the courage to decide it for himself. (Lean- 
ing over.) I almost hate to say so, but the fact is I 
have more money than I need, and I'm afraid some 
girl will marry me because of that. And to solve the 
difficulty I advertised for a wife, knowing if any one an- 
swered me, she would not be prejudiced in my favor 
because of the fortune I inherited from my uncle. 
(Nancy looks amused, and Daisy peeks out of the door 
unseen by Nancy, whose back is tozvard the room where 
Daisy is hiding, waves to Murray, much to his discom- 
fort, then disappears. Murray goes on as if nothing 
had happened. ) Now we don't happen to know a bloom- 
ing thing about each other, so if you did — fall in love 
with me after a while, of course — so much the better, 
and if not before we were married, you might afterwards. 

(Looks up at Nancy, who is smiling indulgently at 
him.) 

Nancy (trying not to show she doubts him). And I 
have less money than I need, so I must marry somebody 
who has plenty of it. It doesn't seem fair, does it, to 
take advantage of a man when he could marry any one 
he chose? (Looking sweetly at Murray.) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 1 7 

Murray (becoming more and more interested in 
Nancy). I don't believe a thing you've said, Miss 
Martin. 

Nancy. Any more than I am deceived by your state- 
ments. 

Murray. Aren't you serious ? 

Nancy (looking frightened by the turn things have 
taken, as Murray looks at her with more and more ad- 
miration) . Of course not, are you ? 

Murray. I meant it as a joke till I saw you; now I'm 
dead in earnest — really I am — it's a case of love at first 
sight, — Miss Martin. I'm just crazy about you, honest 
I am ! 

Nancy. Oh, please don't be, Mr. 

Murray. Winthrop, Murray Winthrop — call me 
Murray. 

(With much feeling, and trying to take her hand.) 

Nancy (stiffly). Mr. Winthrop — you can't wish me 
to believe you are taking this situation seriously, can you ? 

Murray. Well, rather ! I was never more serious in 
my whole life. 

(Daisy peeps out again, but withdraws at once.) 

Nancy (much frightened and looking about her). 
Really, Mr. Winthrop, this has gone too far — let me go 
now ; I only came here for a joke. (Gets up to go. ) 

Murray. But it ceases to be a joke to me, — I tell you, 
Miss Martin. I'm in love with you, more so than I ever 
expected to be with any one, and I want you to marry 
me 

Nancy (starting to go). Oh, please don't say any 
more 

(She is standing by the telephone and it rings violently 
in her ear. She jumps, and so does Murray to an- 
szver it.) 

Murray (holding the receiver to his ear and looking 
hopelessly at Nancy, who is edging toward the door). 
Hello, Atkins, — what did you say, — Mrs. Winthrop is 



1 8 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

down-stairs? — (To Nancy.) My mother, not my wife. 
(To Atkins.) Good gracious! She's coming up-stairs 
now. (Drops the telephone.) 

Nancy. What's to become of me ? I must go before 
your mother comes. 

Murray. You couldn't help meeting her outside, — 
come into my roommate's study. You can stay there till 
Mother leaves. She never stays long, she's too busy with 
meetings and things; — you know how it is with women. 

(Moves toward Hollister's room.) 

Nancy (following him mechanically). I never did 
such a thing as this before. 

(Going in the door and standing there looking at Mur- 
ray helplessly.) 

Murray. And you won't ever have to do it again. I 
hope neither of us will take any more chances; it won't 
be necessary. 

(Looks knowingly at Nancy, closing the door after 
her, and starting toward the other.) 

Nancy (opening her door a little way, and popping 
her head out). If I ever get out of this scrape, I'll never 
try any more experiments. 

Murray. Neither will I, unless matrimony is one. 

(Nancy slams the door and the one from the hall 
opens, and in walks Mrs. Winthrop, quite out of 
breath from her climb up the stairs. She is a 
typical Boston matron, kind, stout, trustful, a good 
old sort of the most conventional kind, amiable, but 
lacking in humor. She sinks into the first seat she 
finds, after kissing Murray affectionately.) 

Mrs. Winthrop. My, that was a climb! I do wish 
they would have elevators in these dormitories. I find 
I can't go up-stairs as easily as I used to, but I don't sup- 
pose many old ladies come up here — or young ones either, 
for that matter. (Looks about the room.) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT ig 

Murray. Not many except when we give teas, you 
know; but I never hear any complaints about the stairs 
when the girls come up. 

Mrs. W. Of course not. I dare say I took them too 
quickly — I'm almost dead. 

(Rests a moment before saying anything more.) 

Murray (trying to be sympathetic in spite of his nerv- 
ousness). I'm sorry; next time you come to see me you 
must let me know, and I will come down and boost you 
up. 

Mrs. W. (noticing how agitated Murray is). You 
don't look very well yourself, Murray. (Takes another 
careful look at him.) Why, my boy, you look positively 
ill. What have you been doing? 

Murray. Oh, nothing, just that little trouble with my 
heart — quite a good deal in fact. You have always said 
it ran in the family, but I never felt it until to-day. 

(Nancy appears again as he says this, but she is be- 
hind Mrs. Winthrop, who does not see her, but of 
course Murray turns even paler.) 

Mrs. W. (anxiously) . You must be careful, Murray; 
never strain it. Your father has had heart failure ever 
since I married him ; each year it gives him more trouble. 

(Nancy appears again, and listens to Murray's next 
remark. ) 

Murray. I never realized mine was so weak until this 
afternoon. (Looking at Nancy, who closes the door.) 

Mrs. W. You must see the doctor about it. I'll tele- 
phone him to-night. 

(She gets up and begins to walk about the room, ex- 
amining various things.) 

Murray. I will — if it continues to bother me. Where 
did you come from, Mother dear? 

Mrs. W. (still looking about her). I motored in from 
Brookline to attend an anti-suffrage meeting, and stopped 



20 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

to have a word with you. I am sure you need something 
for your room. {Takes up the table cover, which is 
burned in various places by cigarettes and cigars; hold- 
ing it close to her eyes.) This cover is very shabby. I 
don't see how moths could get into it at this time of year. 
Never mind, I will send you out another. 

Murray. Don't bother; it will carry me through this 
winter. I don't want anything new. I wish to save up 
to be married. (Daisy looks out.) 

Mrs. W. To be married ! What do you mean ? I had 
no idea you were considering matrimony. 

Murray. I didn't until very recently. I tell you I'm 
in love, but I'm not at liberty to tell you about it for the 
present. 

(Daisy disappears and Nancy comes out looking too 
worried for anything. Murray motions her to go 
back.) 

Mrs. W. {coming over and putting her arms about 
Murray). My dear boy, I'm so interested; there is 
nothing like falling in love young — blessings on you, 
dear; but you say I can't know any more now? Well, 
never mind, I can wait. I know you are happy; that is 
all a mother wants for her son, to have him good and 
happy. {Goes on with her examination of the room, 
walks up to the sideboard. ) I wish, Murray, you did not 
drink beer; spirits are so bad for your heart. 

{Puts the bottle down and goes tozvard the room where 
Nancy is.) 

Murray {going over and stopping her). I wouldn't 
go in there, Mother; a friend of mine is occupying it at 
present, — resting after a most trying examination* 

Mrs. W. {moving away quickly). Dear me, how for- 
tunate you stopped me. I wouldn't disturb the poor boy 
for the world. How hard you all have to work ! I only 
wanted to look over your clothes, your socks especially, 
they always need mending. You can give me some to 
take home when I leave. {Goes over to the mantel, takes 
a picture from it, and examines it with her near-sighted 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 21 

eyes.) Who is this pretty creature? Why, it's your 
cousin Susie ! But how thin she looks ! I never should 
have known her. (Goes over to Murray.) Oh, you 
rogue ! You never told me you were fond of Susie. 
How pleased your Aunt Hannah will be when she hears 
of it! (Puts the picture back.) How little we mothers 
know about our boys, after all, but we must trust them — 
yes, trust them always. Don't worry, I'm not urging you 
to tell me about your love affairs, I am quite willing to 
wait. I will be patient, but you have no idea how inter- 
ested I am in your future; it is so easy to make mis- 
takes, my boy, and hurry into marriage. 

(Nancy appears again, and later Daisy, never at the 
same time, however. Mrs. Winthrop walks back 
to the table and picks up a zvhite disc, putting it into 
her mouth. She is too near-sighted to know it is not 
meant to eat. Murray comes to the rescue.) 

Murray. For mercy sake, don't bite that, Mother, it 
isn't meant to eat. 

Mrs. W. Isn't it ? Dear me, how stupid I am ! I'm 
as blind as a bat without my glasses. I left them in the 
motor — funny, I thought I was eating a Necco wafer. 
What was it? 

Murray (removing the box of chips). Something we 
fellows play with. 

Mrs. W. Oh, yes, tiddledewinks, I suppose, but it 
seemed large for that. I always thought it a foolish 
game. I'm surprised men of your age should care for 
it. It seems childish, doesn't it? But then all men are 
children after all. Their games are limited 

Murray. Yes, this one is, especially limited. 

Mrs. W. I always was dull at games, that's why I 
never tried to learn Bridge. (Goes up to the picture 
again.) This really does not look so much like Susie, 
after all. Did you say it was Susie? 

Murray (growing desperate). No, I did not. It was 
you who insisted it was Susie. 

Mrs. W. (replacing it on the mantel again).. It does 
look like Susie. Is it a friend of yours ? 



22 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

Murray. I don't even know the young lady ; she is a 
friend of my room-mate's. 

(Mrs. Winthrop looks pleased.) 

Mrs. W. Well, my dear, I must run along. I want 
to see your Aunt Hannah and Cousin Mary now I'm in 
Cambridge, but I'll be back in half an hour to make you 
a cup of tea. {Looking at the sideboard.) I don't sup- 
pose you have any cake. {Suddenly has an idea.) I 
think I will go out and get some ; there is a bake shop over 
in the Square. I'll not be long. {Starts for the door 
but stops.) You don't mind if I come back and make 
you a cup of tea, do you, dear? 

Murray. Aren't you afraid of coming up the stairs 
again ? 

Mrs. W. I'll take them slowly next time. {Goes out 
and Murray follows. ) Don't come with me, Murray. I 
know you are busy working. 

Murray {following her out). I insist on coming. 

{Goes after her and as he closes the door, Daisy and 
Nancy come out of their rooms, walking into each 
other.) 

Nancy. Who are you? 

Daisy. Where did you come from? 

Nancy. I'd rather not say. 

Daisy. So would I. 

Nancy. What are you doing here? 

Daisy. The same thing you are. 

Nancy. Did you answer Mr. Winthrop's advertise- 
ment ? 

Daisy. Of course; didn't you? 

Nancy. Do you expect to marry him? 

Daisy. Not after seeing that he cares for you. 

Nancy. But I'm not in the least serious. 

Daisy. Then what in the world did you come here 
for? 

Nancy. I can't explain just now. 

Daisy. Will you explain it when Mr. Winthrop comes 
back? 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 23 

Nancy. I may. 

{Sound is heard and both girls rush back into their 
rooms. Murray comes back wiping his brow; bell 
rings and he takes up the telephone again.) 

Murray. The dickens, you say, another woman — 
well, show her up. 

(Makes a cigarette up and lights it, sinking into a chair 
looking toward the other doors. A tap on the door 
and Murray goes to open it, and nearly falls over 
when he sees what it is. It is James dressed as the 
most exaggerated female prig. She comes quickly 
into the room.) 

Prig. Is this the gentleman who advertised for a 
helpmate ? (Sentimentally. ) 

Murray (in despair). I have the honor of being that 
indiscreet person. 

Prig. Couldn't you get a wife in any other way? I 
sympathize with you, for I have often thought I might 
have to resort to the same extreme myself to get a 
husband. 

Murray (with annoyance, for the first time losing his 
patience). I never thought of doing it at all, it was 

Prig. Such a romantic way to get a wife. 

(Looks lovingly at him, driving him crazy.) 

Murray. It might be? (Looking toward the door 
where Nancy is looking at him unseen by the Prig who 
is gazing at Murray with rapt expression.) But I begin 
to doubt it. 

Prig. Don't, dear. ( Murray starts. ) Don't you see 
how it has brought us together? 

Murray. But when there are too many to choose 
from, it ceases to be romantic. 

Prig (with feigned surprise). Have there been others? 

Murray. Several. 

Prig (sadly). Then I'm not the only one. 

Murray. By no means. 

Prig (looking up sentimentally into his eyes). And 



24 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

you turned them all down for me. How fortunate for 
me ! 

Murray. But I can't decide until I see them all. 

Prig. Do consider me! I'm sure we are affinities, in 
fact made for each other. I like romance too, — love 

and (Sound from other room.) What was that 

noise? Are we not alone? 

Murray. Do you see any one ? 

Prig (looking about). No, but I hear voices. 

Murray. That's not surprising; I have a friend in 
that room who is peculiar, — he's not in his right mind at 
present. He thinks he's different people, any one but 
what he really is. 

Prig. Poor man ! 

Murray. Yes, it's very sad. 

Prig. I should think you'd be afraid to have him 
room with you. 

Murray. He doesn't ; we have separate bedrooms and 
studies too. 

Prig. Which is his room? 

Murray (pointing to where Daisy is). That one. 
(Daisy has just popped her head out and disappears 
again. Bell rings.) I think that is my mother. 

Prig (assuming fright). Your mother? What shall 
I do? I can't be seen here. 

Murray. Of course you can't; come in here and 
wait till she goes home. 

Prig. In the room where your crazy roommate is? 
Not on your life! I'd rather meet your mother; at least 
she is a woman. 

Murray. Come in here, — this is not where he is ; you 
will be quite safe, and for goodness sake don't come out. 
Lock yourself in, if you like. 

(Prig is disposed of and Caroline Winthrop, Mur- 
ray's sister, comes in. Murray is about discouraged 
as another female appears.) 

Caroline (looking around the door). Hello, Murray, 
are you alone? Queer, but I thought I heard voices as 
I came to the door, girls' voices, too. 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 25 

Murray (much embarrassed) . I'm rehearsing a part 
for the spring play — awfully funny part it is too, ha, ha! 

(Laughing nervously.) 

Caroline {much interested). How thrilling! And 
you are taking the girl's part ; how fascinating ! And 
you have to try to change your voice as much as you can, 
don't you? That accounts for the fact the voice really 
didn't sound like a girl's after all. 

Murray. Yes, {Simpering.) yes, one does have to do 
strange things with the voice when acting in theatricals. 

Caroline. I know something about it; let me help 
you with your part. I adore acting. {Looking about the 
room.) Is Charles in his room? 

Murray. No, not just now, he's gone out for a 
while. {Stands with his back against the door.) But 
he'll be back presently. 

Caroline {looking disappointed). I hope he'll come 
before I go. 

Murray. Yes — I — hope — he will. 

{He doesn't look it.) 

Caroline. I tell you, Murray, you go and get him 
and I'll be making tea, — get some of the other boys too. 
I'm sure they'd adore to have tea; you might buy some 
muffins outside, if you have time. (Murray carefully 
locks the doors while talking, but Caroline does not see, 
as she is so busy arranging the tea table. As Murray 
starts off.) Mind you get Charles. {He goes out and 
Caroline works away when suddenly the girls try to get 
out.) Goodness! what's that? 

Daisy. Let me out. Some one has locked this door. 
(Caroline goes over to unlock the door. Letting Daisy 
out. It is of course Granger, who recognises Caroline, 
and likes her very much. Daisy forgets who he is sup- 
posed to be.) Oh, Miss Winthrop ! 

Caroline {taken back to see that such a person knows 
her). Do you know me? 

Daisy. Well, rather. {Then growing cautious.) 



26 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

That is, your face is familiar. Murray has shown me 
your picture very often. 

Caroline (stiffening). My picture! I should like to 
know how you happened to know my brother. What 
are you doing in his room? 

Daisy. That isn't his room, it is Charles Hollister's 
room. 

Caroline (even more annoyed). And is Mr. Hollis- 
ter a friend of yours too? 

Daisy. He and I have been pals for years. 

Caroline (angry). Pals indeed! (Hears another 
knock.) What's that? 

Daisy. It sounds to me as if some one was trying to 
get out of that room. 

Caroline (goes over to another door). Who's in 
there ? 

Nancy (in sweetest tones). It's I; please let me out. 

(Nancy zvalks out and she and Caroline recognize 
each other as classmates at Radcliffe.) 

Caroline (with genuine surprise). What in the world 
are you doing in my brother's room ? 

Nancy. I'm not surprised you should wonder at it. 

Daisy. I don't blame you for thinking it queer for us 
all to be here. 

Caroline. Nancy, will you please explain yourself? 

Nancy. I can't. (Hangs her head with shame.) 

Caroline (losing patience). But you must. 

Prig (calling out). Are there any men out there? 

All. Only women ! 

Prig. Then I'll venture out. 

(Peers around the corner of the room.) 

Caroline. It grows more and more peculiar. 
Nancy. It certainly is. 

Prig (to Caroline). And pray, who are you, my 
dear? 

(Looking at her through her lorgnette.) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 2J 

Caroline. I, the only one of you who has the right 
to be here at all. I'm Mr. Winthrop's sister. 

Prig (coming forward and taking Caroline's hand 
with his gloved one). How delightful to meet some of 
his family ! 

Caroline. And pray, who are you? 

Prig. His future wife. At least I hope to be. 

(Door bursts open, and Charles Hollister comes in, 
quite unconscious of all that has happened. He 
looks with surprise at the girls and then walks up to 
Caroline. ) 

Charles. Why, Caroline, where did you come from ? 

Caroline. Please explain how this woman happened 
to be sitting in there. She came out of your room just 
now. 

Prig. He's crazy, he's crazy ! He's the man Mr. 
Winthrop warned me was out of his head. He's a 
lunatic. 

Charles. Murray says I'm crazy ! You are very 
much mistaken ; I am not in the least out of my head. 

Prig. Oh, yes, you are, you talk to yourself. I heard 
you in that very room a little while a,^o. (Points to it.) 

Caroline. Can and will some one kindly explain what 
all this means. How do you all happen to be in my 
brother's room, especially you? 

(Points to Daisy, who claims to be a pal of Mr. Hol- 
lister's. ) 

Charles. Blest if I know what it means. I left 
this room not half an hour ago without a soul in it, and 
come back to find a regular town meeting. 

Caroline. Unless it is explained, (To Charles, and 
she is about ready to cry.) you may consider our engage- 
ment broken. 

Daisy. Mr. Winthrop will explain when he comes 
back. 

Caroline. Please do not interfere ; I asked Mr. Hol- 
lister to speak. 



28 A DANGLROUS EXPERIMENT 

Charles. But I don't know any more about it than 
you do. 

Caroline. I came here to have tea with my brother, 
and I find the place filled with women, one in each 
room locked in, two on the outside, and one on the in. 

Charles. Locked in? 

Caroline. Yes indeed. 

Nancy {quietly). It can all be explained to your 
satisfaction, when Mr. Winthrop comes back. Please 
be patient ; it is quite as trying for us all as for you. 

(The door opens and Murray comes in. Exclama- 
tions from all; Nancy looks embarrassed.) 

Prig. Please have the kindness to remove your crazy 
room-mate. 

Charles. If I stay here I shall lose my reason. 

Caroline. Murray, won't you please explain the 
meaning of all these people being here? You needn't 
explain that one, {Pointing to Nancy.) for she is a friend 
of mine. 

Murray {delighted). You know her? 

Caroline. We go to Radclifle together. 

Murray. Thank goodness ! Then introduce me to 
her. 

Caroline. Murray, for heaven's sake tell me what it 
is all about. 

Daisy. I think I can do that better than he can. 
{Every one looks surprised as Granger comes forward.) 
I made a bet with your brother the other night that he 
would not dare advertise for a wife. Pie took me up, 
and behold the result ! 

Caroline. Murray, how did you dare? 

Murray. I had the courage of ignorance. 

Granger {resuming his natural voice arid removing 
his wig). And I answered it! 

James {removing his wig). And so did I. 

{Everybody is surprised, and then all eyes are focused 
on Nancy, who is more and more overcome with 
embarrassment. ) 



A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 2Q, 

Caroline (coming over and standing beside Nancy). 
And did you answer the advertisement too? I can't 
believe it; you must have some other reason for being 
here. 

Nancy. Now I can tell the truth, for I too have won 
my wager, but after a cruel experience. I think I have 
learned my lesson never to be rash again. The other 
evening after reading Mr. Winthrop's advertisement in 
the " Transcript," one of my friends dared me to an- 
swer it, in fact she offered me one hundred dollars to 
come here as I have to-day, and say what I did a while 
ago. I needed the money terribly to take me through 
the rest of the year at college, and as I have no fear of 
men, or thought I hadn't, until this afternoon, I ven- 
tured to take her at her word. I am a stranger in Bos- 
ton, and believed no one would know me, and at Claverly 
Hall where the nicest kind of students live, I had no 
idea I should be placed in such an awkward position. 
It never occurred to me I would get such a fright, and 
I apologize to you all for what I did. It was a danger- 
ous experiment, and I have suffered for my folly. 

Caroline. Please don't take it so much to heart, for 
it was only a joke after all. 

Charles. But how in the world did you women all 
get in here anyway? Girls aren't allowed in Claverly 
Hall. 

Granger. Unless a man is giving a tea. We told 
Atkins Winthrop was having one, and you see even his 
sister came to it, so we are all properly chaperoned. 

Nancy. With your permission I shall go, and I ask 
your pardon, Mr. Winthrop, for doing what I have. 

(Starts to go, but Murray stops her.) 

Murray. But we can't allow you to go without tea, 
and then when you have finished drinking it, with your 
consent I will take you to your boarding place. You and 
I have played a very risky game, but I, for one, do not 

regret it. I know I shan't if it has won me a (Door 

opens and Mrs. Winthrop comes in, out of breath as 
usual, her arms full of bundles. She stands aghast before 



30 A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT 

the crowd. Murray steps forward and takes her hand.) 
Come right in, Mother; don't be surprised; you are just 
in time to see the fun. Some of us have been rehearsing 
for a play; it is much like — the Comedy of Errors, in 
which I am taking a prominent part. {Turning to 
Nancy.) Let me introduce you to my leading lady, 
Miss 

Nancy {blushing but entering into the spirit of the 
occasion). Nancy Webster. 

Murray. Miss Nancy Webster — my future wife. 
{To Nancy, smiling.) Miss Webster, {Taking her 
hand.) this is your mother-in-law. 

(Mrs. Winthrop drops her bundles and opens her 
arms to Nancy who falls into them.) 



CURTAIN 



I 



SEASON 1922 «i 



A BUNCH OF FUN 

A Farce in Three Acts. By Erastus Osgood 

Five males, nine females. A simple interior scene throughout. 

Modern costumes. The plot of this farce crackles with fun as 
though charged with laughter and smiles. Vera, the baseball girl, 
makes a " hit " in more ways than one. Sylvia, the dancing girl, 
steps right into the hilarity with a whirl. Nina, the stage aspirant, 
gives a new twist to Shakespeare, and Cecily, the Mandolin girl, 
would lure a smile from a Sphinx. These four girls are the 
" Bunch." Tacks, the football star, tackles love from a new angle. 
Ray was a born Romeo, but misfires. Lynn plays the clown to 
every one's delight, and if Murray hadn't written the sketch, lots 
of things would not have happened. Mrs. Selma Blair tries to 
break up the fun, but " nothing doing." Miss Martha is a delightful 
character. Alice entertains the " bunch " and is well repaid. Dr. 
and Mrs. Grandon form a charming background for an evening of 
wholesome amusement. And last, the arch fun-maker, Christina, 
the Swedish maid. If she knew how funny she was, she wouldn't 
believe it. She is " stuck on the movies " but Ray declared, " that 
for pulling funny stunts, Christina has got Charlie Chaplin beaten 
forty different ways." Free for amateur performance. 

Price, 35 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Rev. Stephen Grandon, D. D., rector of St. Paul's. 

Mary, his zvife, " flustered on occasions." 

Martha, his sister. " a trifle warped." 

Christina, a Swedish maid, "stuck on the movies." 

Raymond Hunting, a live wire. 

Vera Matherson, a baseball fan. 

Nina Lee, a stage aspirant. 

Ceciey Mooreand, the mandolin girl. 

Syevia Stewart, the dancing girl. 

Lynn Lockwood, the man " who takes off his face." 

Aeice Hunting, the entertaining girl. 

Murray Kent, a college playwright. 

Tacks Mueford, a football star. 

Mrs. Seema Beair, a pest in the parish. 

Scene 
Heatherdale near New York. (The entire action takes place in 
the living-room at the rectory.) 

Time : Present. 
Act I. — " The Bunch " arrives. 
Act II.—" The Bunch " in action. 
Act III.—" The Bunch " choose partners. 



GOOD-EVENING, CLARICE 

A Farce Comedy in Three Acts. By J. C. McMullen 

Five males, six females. Playing time, approximately two hours. 
Costumes of the present day. Scene — a single interior. Annette 
Franklin, a jealous wife, has been raising a little domestic war over 
her husband's supposed infatuation for a noted dancer, Clarice de 
Mauree. How Annette was proven wrong in her supposition, cured 
of her jealousy, and found her long lost parents, makes a comedy, 
which, while easy of production, proves very effective in the pre- 
sentation. The part of Clarice, the dancer, gives the opportunity 
for an excellent female character lead. All of the other parts are of 
equal importance and the situations fairly radiate comedy and swift 
moving action. This new play has already made its public debut 
in manuscript form, having been used with great success on the 
Pacific coast. Royalty, $10.00 for the first and $5.00 for each subse- 
quent performance by the same cast. Professional rates will be 
quoted on request. 

Scenes 

Act I. — Living-room of the Franklin residence, Buffalo, N. Y., 
7:15 p. m. 

Act II.— The same, 8:15 p. m. 

Act III. — The same, 9 :oo p. m. 

Price, 50 cents. 

HIS UNCLE'S NIECE 

A Rollicking Farce in Three Acts. By Raymond W. Sargent 

Six males, three females. Scenery not difficult. The plot of this 
hilarious farce centres around a letter received by Francis Felt'on 
from his Uncle Simon of Happy Valley Junction, who has always 
supposed that Francis was of the opposite sex. The letter an- 
nounces that the uncle has selected a husband for his niece and that 
they are both on the way to New York to make final arrangements 
for the wedding. In desperation, to keep up a deception started 
years before by his parents, Francis assumes a female character 
role in order to carry out a provision whereby he is to receive a 
million dollar bequest from his uncle. The explanations made 
necessary through this change are amusing and realistic. The 
denouement is a surprise and one that will lift the audience to its 
feet with applause. You have seen Charley's Aunt on the pro- 
fessional stage, and here is a chance for amateurs to act in a play 
that is even better suited to their requirements. 

CHARACTERS 

Scenes 
Act I. — Interior of Francis Felton's and Richard Tate's bachelor 
establishment at Boston. 
Act II. — Same as Act I. Afternoon of the same day. 
Act III. — Exterior of Uncle Simon's summer home at Happy 
Valley Junction. Evening; three days later. 

Time: Midsummer. 

Time of playing: Approximately two hours. 

Price, 35 cents. 



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AMATEURS' SUPPLIES 

PREPARED BURNT CORK— Will not dry out Always in 
condition for immediate use. Easily removed. Enough 

for four people. Per box (about 2 oz.) $ 

One-half lb., $i.oo ; per tb I 

SPIRIT GUM— For sticking on whiskers, etc. Easily 
removed with Cocoa Butter or Cold Cream. Per bottle. 

COLD CREAM — For removing grease paints, spirit gum, 
etc. In tubes 

COCOA BUTTER— For same purpose as Cold Cream 

CLOWN WHITE— For Pantomimes, Clowns, Statuary, etc. 
Per box 

CARMINE LINER— Per stick 

BLUE — For the eyes. Per stick 

EYE BROW PENCILS— Black, Brown. In nickel-plated 
metal tubes. Each 

GRENADINE OR LIP ROUGE 

THEATRICAL BLENDING POWDER— Thoroughly hides 
oily appearance of grease paints. Not to be confused 
with street powder. No. i, White; No. 2, Flesh; No. 3, 
Brunette; No. 4, Rose Tint for juvenile heroes; No. 7, 
Healthy Sunburn; No. 10, Sallow for both young and 
old age; No. II, all ruddy exposed characters; No. 17, 
American Indian, East Indian, Othello 

ROUGE DE THEATRE— No. 18, Medium shade for juve- 
nile and fair complexion; No. 36, Brunette for decided 
brunette types ; No. 24, Deep Rose for darker hues. 
Per box • • 

HAIR POWDER— White only. To gray or whiten the 
hair or beard 

POWDER PUFFS— For applying blending powder 

HARE'S FEET— For blending make-up 

STOMPS — Leather, for lining face for wrinkles, etc 

NOSE PUTTY— For building up nose or chin 

EMAIL NOIR OR BLACK WAX— Black, for stopping out 
teeth 

WATER COSMETIQUE or MASCARO— White, Black, 
Dark Brown, Light Brown, Blonde, Red, for coloring 
the beard, eyebrows or hair at temples to match wig. 
Removed with soap and water. Each 

MAKE-UP PENCILS— Light Flesh, Dark Flesh, Brown, 
Black, White, Gray, Carmine, Pink and Crimson. Set 
in a box • • • l 

LINING PENCILS— Black, Brown, Crimson, Gray and 
White. Each • • • • • 

LADIES' BEAUTY BOX— For stage or toilet use Con- 
tains Flesh Color Face Powder, Theatrical Cold Cream, 
Theatre Rouge, Eyebrow Pencil, Powder Puff, Hare's 

Foot, Flesh Color Exora Cream and Lip Rouge I 

Always send your orders to 
WALTER H. BAKER CO., Boston, Mass. 



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018 395 144 
AMATEURS' SUPPLIES 

MAKE-UP BOX — For either Gentleman or Lady, a handsome 
japanned tin case, with lock and key, and containing the 
following articles: A set of Grease Paints (nine colors), 
Blending Powder (two colors), Rouge de Theatre, Eyebrow 
Pencil, Grenadine or Lip Rouge, Blue for the Eyes; Nose 
Putty, Email Noir or Black Wax, Mascaro or Water Cos- 
metique and Brush, Spirit Gum and Brush, Powder Puff, 
Cocoa Butter, Burnt Cork, Two Artist's Stomps, Hare's 
Foot, Mirror, Scissors and Five Colors of Crepe Hair. All 
these articles are of the best quality. The actual listed value 
of the articles enumerated, all of which are included with 
our complete Make-Up Box, would be over $7.00; so that 
the handsome carrying case is included at no additional cost 
when you buy this outfit. By express, shipping charges not 
paid $7.00 



GREASE PAINTS 

No. No. 

1. Very Pale Flesh Color. 12. Olive, Healthy. 

2. Light Flesh, Deeper Tint 13. Olive, Lighter Shade. 

3. Natural Flesh Color for Juvenile Heroes. 14. Gypsy Flesh Color. 

4. Rose Tint Color for Juvenile Heroes. 15. Othello. 

5. Deeper Shade Color for Juvenile Heroes.16. Chinese. 

6. Healthy Sunburnt for Juvenile Heroes. 37. Indian. 

7. Healthy Sunburnt, Deeper Shade. IS. East Indian. 

8. Sallow, fsfer Younr- Men. 19. Japanese. 

9. Healthy Color, for Middle Age. 20. Light Negro. 

10. Sallow, fcr Old Age. 21. Black. 

11. Ruddy, for Old Age. 22. White. 

(Done up in sticks of 4 inches in length at 30c each.) 

MISCELLANEOUS SUPPLIES 

FOR YOUR MINSTREL SHOW 

Minstrel Chorus Wigs (special price by the dozen), each. . . .$1.25 

End Men's Fancy Wig 2.25 

Fright Wig (Mechanical) 3.«o 

" Uncle Tom " Wig. 2.25 

" Topsy" Wig 2.25 

Sonnetts or Clappers (per pair) 25 

Paper Collars (end men) 15 

Dress Shirt Fronts 35 

Stage Jewelry : Shirt Stud 50 

Large Diamond Ring 75 

Stage Money : 20 sheets 10 

100 sheets 40 

Always send your orders to 

WALTER H. BAKER CO., Boston, Mass. 

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